"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone."

~Reba McEntire



Friday, June 18, 2010

The Battle

"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places." - Unknown

Ugh....well if you know me at all, you definitely know what I'm talking about when I say "The Battle," my weight of course! So here we are again on this never ending roller coaster, and unfortunately I am on the upswing this time. Sucks!! How could this have happened (again)? Just when you think you have it all figured out and those Friday doughnuts couldn't possibly hurt you, you try to put your favorite jeans on and they won't even zip! What the heck? Why does it always sneak up on you like that? Why can't there be some kind of warning that goes off to tell you "Hey Lardo, if you keep going at the rate you're at you're gonna blow up like a balloon before you know it!" But no, this doesn't happen, you never realize it until its way too late and your sitting on your closet floor crying because even your biggest mu mu dress is too tight.

So...now what? Well I guess I have to try to jump back on one of my many diets I have tried in the past, that obviously don't seem to work for very long since I'm right back where I started...AGAIN. It feels like such an unending cycle. I seriously wonder if anyone else in the world has to work this hard to be happy with themselves. How can this be fair, in order to be happy you have to make yourself miserable and suffer. What kind of sick joke is that?! I want to talk to the person in charge!!

Well I actually tried to do this in church yesterday and I have to admit, I'm not quite sure that I'm happy with the answer I got. I sat there listening (very attentively of course) to the priest as he talked about keeping your faith as you go through difficult times that you don't understand. He said that even when you are praying for something to happen or for things to get better, you can't get angry when those prayers go unanswered because you are going through whatever it is for a reason. God is trying to send you some kind of message or teach you a lesson by letting you endure your difficulties. So as I sat and listened, relating the sermon to my own life and struggles, I should have found myself comforted by those words, however, the phrase "This is bull****" continually seemed to flash through my head. Now I realize that is a completely inappropriate thought for church but I have to admit that I couldn't help it! I just can't seem to figure out what the heck I am supposed to learn from being fat and miserable! So therefore I'm pretty sure I did not properly interpret the message the priest was trying to convey. Hopefully someone else listening got something comforting out of it because it was quite lost on me. Ha Ha!

(I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell, and its gonna consist of me stuck on a treadmill made out of bread and butter.)

So anyways, I guess its time to quit complaining and get a little perspective. I'm not happy about it but I will admit that I know this is not the worst problem I could have (by a long shot.) And even worse, I'll admit its completely my fault and yes, even more, I do know that I have complete control over it. There! Fine, I said it! There is no one to blame but myself! Man that sucks, I hate when that happens. It's way easier when you get to blame someone else for your problems. :)

Time to throw on the running shoes and drop those heavenly delicious carbs, because otherwise I'm just going to keep sitting here grabbing my belly wondering where the heck it came from, whose fault it is, and watch it grow uncontrollably.

So the Battle continues!! And I'll I can say, as I unbutton the top button of my pants to allow easier breathing and deeply regret ALLLLL the "harmless" snacks along the way that seem to have gotten me here, is....oh well....Life Happens. :)

No comments:

Post a Comment